I have led a very colourful life (so far). My ethnic background is Ojibwe (from north of Lake Superior), Cree and French (from northern Manitoba), and English (straight from England). Having an Anishnaabe Spirit (Anishnaabe – I understand this to mean beings lowered down from the sky) while being carried in a white body presented me with many opportunities to remember as I was growing up and it also provided me with some unique gifts as I am remembering now.  I say remember because I believe that each one of us carries all of our history, all of our future, all of our wisdom together with our natural state of bliss, our true essence, what I call Spirit.

From as early as I can remember, I was always searching for that unconditional love. Somehow intuitively I knew it existed and it must be out there somewhere, right? I had several romantic relationships over the course of my life.  You will need to read my book Walking with Grey Wolf when it is published to get the rest of that story. I didn’t understand or didn’t remember yet that the unconditional love that I was looking for was inside of me all of this time.

I can remember small bits of time (this word time will be discussed in another blog, I believe that time is an illusion, there is only now) where I experienced unconditional love or perhaps the closest to that experience that we will have in our human forms.  This is one of those experiences:

I very carefully laid my tobacco down on a fallen tree that already had some moss covering it with my prayers. And I stood back from the offering to ‘see’ if my offering would be ‘accepted’ by Spirit. I am not sure what I was expecting but I do remembering waiting for a reaction from Spirit. In less than 30 seconds a squirrel came along and started blessing the tobacco. I was totally amazed that in fact I was able to witness that Spirit was accepting my offering of tobacco. This was such a blessing. Then to my surprise a small woodpecker, what I believe was a downy woodpecker, started ‘drumming’ on a tree very close to me. I instantly realized that something very special was about to happen because of the reverence I was feeling in the forest together with the magical drumming that was now happening.

Again, very quickly (this all happened within five minutes of me entering the protected area of the forest) two little beings ‘popped’ out of nowhere and were flying around me. They were able to fly like hummingbirds and were about the size of a small baseball. The top of them was a brilliant black colour and the bottom was a brilliant white. They sort of reminded me of black capped chickadees because of their colours but these were not beings of this planet or dimension. It was as if they were covered in longer fur and I could not see any distinguishable features such as a face or wings. They were flying around me with a curious nature and I felt only love from these tiny beings. It reminded me of my request to Creator early in my journey to not bring me any ‘big’ messengers like a bear. I had requested that the Creator only bring me ‘small’ messengers and my request was honoured until I was ready for the larger messengers.

I continued to walk down the pathway wondering if these new friends would follow me. Indeed they did. It was like frolicking in a forest with faeries. It was a magical experience. I could sense that they were very curious about me and I wondered if this could be like my similar experiences with the black capped chickadees. If I held my hands out would they land on me? So if you can imagine this humble woman standing in very deep snow on this sunny winters day, holding her arms up to the Creator and welcoming these tiny beings. They did in fact land on my hands, one on each. In that moment, it was as if time stood still. I felt totally connected to the entire universe and experienced only love and joy from the Creator and all the unseen. If I could have, I would have melted into the snow beneath me and I could have been taken ‘home’ at that precise moment. I was one with all my relations. Read the whole story.

I have had other glimpses as well, split seconds where undeniably unconditional love was revealed to me. This is another example:

Finally, my turn came to bid farewell to our Spiritual Guide. I had avoided the moment as long as humanly possible. How could I say ‘see you later’ to the man who had helped me realize my worth on this earth and connected me to the Spiritual World that I had always believed existed. Perhaps it was my apprehension; perhaps it was the Creator’s final gift to me that day and I am not sure that I will ever really know what happened but when I embraced my Spiritual Guide to say goodbye the most fantastic thing happened. A moment of love, peace, serenity, I am not sure how to describe it in words.  I had never experienced anything like it in all my life.  I had read about it but never experienced it.  I could feel this wonderful ‘warmth’ take over my entire being and I could see these wonderful colourful lights, bright lights, like pinks, yellows, bright, bright.  It was as if for that split second that our two Spirits united and I was able to feel that ‘pure unconditional love’ that I have read about.  I believe the Creator let me experience that sensation to have a glimpse of what Spiritual love, universal love, true love, and unconditional love is really like.  Certainly, it was an indication to me of things to come. Read the whole story.

Through these glimpses, I started to remember that the unconditional love that I was so desperately searching for, thinking that I would find in a warrior (a romantic relationship), was indeed inside of me all of this time. I am very grateful to be in this situation now where I am grateful to be grateful and also to appreciate that everything that I could possibly need is inside of me.

I have created my own heaven which I live in every day and am now so blessed to be able to encourage and lead others to do the same. I am in control of my own schedule, I conduct activities and contracts that match my personal values, spend my time living a life of service: service to myself, service to my family, service to my Spiritual community and ultimately service to all of creation. I believe that when we make decisions about our lives and take those leaps of faith, the universe comes along behind us and provides all that we require in order to meet those decisions. Not the other way around. You don’t wait until you have everything in place and then take the leap. We must take the first step. One of my most favourite quotes is: Do not ask the Creator to guide your footsteps, if you are not willing to move your feet (author unknown).

So how does this knowledge help me living day to day in this time illusion? Well I am much better at listening to myself, listening to the messages that we all receive every day. Why is this important? I believe that if we are truly listening to ourselves, our true essence, that natural state of bliss, we would be focusing more on our passions and what drives us. I believe that when we follow our passions, the other situations in our lives, like medical conditions, financial challenges, emotional overload, etc. fall away from us very naturally, as they should. After all, aren’t we all absolutely perfect in our natural states? And that is my greatest love story, ever.

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